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Sunday, October 4, 2009

funny news


Who better to share with members of the International Olympic Committee the commitment and enthusiasm that Chicago has to host the Olympics than the President and First Lady?" asked rhetorically Richard Daley, Chicago's long-serving mayor. As a late reserve, Barack Obama is hardly a bad addition to any team. After much indecision about whether he would go or not, midweek the president finally confirmed his appearance in Copenhagen today as the IOC votes on which four cities get to host the 2016 Games.
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Chicago used to be the strong favorite because of its believed ability to bring in bumper sponsorship and TV revenues. Its lead has recently been eroded by Rio de Janiero. Then, when Tokyo confirmed that Japanese prime minister, Yukio Hatoyama, would be in Denmark, joining Spain's King Juan Carlos who's backing Madrid's bid, Obama decided to try to tilt things back in favor of his old home town. Back in February, when Israelis were voting in their new prime minister, it was reported that the new man in the White House let it be known that he'd learn of the results of the Knesset poll "later" since he had a prior golf appointment: That prompted at least one Israeli voter to observe that he was confident Obama would make a good president, "since he's clearly someone who has his priorities right." This time, his judgment may be not quite so spot on. IOC president Jacques Rogge downplays the importance of big political hitters lobbying the 106 IOC delegates at the final presentation. But, it's widely accepted that Tony Blair's presence in Singapore in 2005 helped win the 2012 Games for London, and Vladimir Putin's personal support was a big factor in landing the 2014 Winter Games for Sochi. Chicago has made a fair case. But South America probably just about deserves its first opportunity to host the Olympics - just as Africa next year gets its first-ever World Cup. And anyway, a true globalist like Obama would do much better to join the sports internationalists who are fed up with this quadrennial battle between rich cities. They argue that the Olympics would be best served if staged permanently in one location. In which case, the obvious choice would be Greece, their original home. But since the IOC seems entirely disinclined to consider the Athens option, there'll again be just one winner - as is generally the case in sport. No longer in pro golf, though, it would appear. Following his failure to win a Major this season, Tiger Woods had to stomach the disappointment of finishing the prestigious Tour Championship runner-up to his great rival Phil Mickelson. But the world number-one's disappointment was eased by the fact that he came out first in the FedEx Cup, the new season-long points race that carries a $10 million bonus for the winner - golf's biggest single prize. Mickelson, delighted at his five-under 65 that bested Tiger by three shots, followed up one of his year's better rounds with one of his better jokes: "Let me get this right - Tiger shoots 69 and I shoot 65. He gets a check for $10m and I get one for - I'm joking, of course." Tiger can't ever be counted on to laugh at coming second. But he saw the funny side of the fact that he and Mickelson had never won on the same day before. Then he got serious again: "The whole idea of the cup was to play consistently through the year and position yourself for the playoffs." Still, the FedEx Cup format has failed spectacularly to produce drama at the end of a long season, because its rules are so complex that even most of the players don't get them, let alone us lesser mortals. There should be a special bonus for any of the top 20 finishers who can explain the arcane points system. They ought to know a thing or two about big numbers, after all, at least when there's a dollar sign attached. And when they feel it necessary, they berate their accountants, though Spain's Gonzalo Fern?ndez-Casta?o chose to lash out in a different direction. He caused a greater media stir during the Vivendi Trophy pitting Britain and Ireland against Europe than he would've with a hole-in-one with this: "Message to Zapatero; you are stripping us all naked." His complaint referred to Madrid's left-leaning government's intention to increase taxes on the very wealthy - presumably including guys who get paid at least 50,000 euros for pitching up to play four days of pressure-free golf. Carlo Ancelotti, the Chelsea boss, looks more and more like a guy capable of level-headed decisions - especially in adversity. After watching a wretched performance at Wigan last Saturday he said the priority was to retain "a degree of public trust" in his players. "The most important thing is not to do a drama," he added, an injunction he probably muttered a hundred times under his breath on Wednesday evening in Nicosia, as his millionaires huffed and puffed before barely getting past the APOEL minnows. The best quotes of the week, though, came from the management of the Indian national cricket team, according to secret documents leaked to the Hindustan Times before the Champions Trophy in South Africa. All squad members received a dossier suggesting an active sex life will translate into good results on the field of play. "Does sex increase performance?" and the equally straight-to-the-point answer: "Yes, it does, so go ahead and indulge." "Sex increases testosterone levels, which causes an increase in strength, energy, aggression and competitiveness," the dossier explains. "Conversely, not having sex for a few months causes a significant drop in testosterone with corresponding passiveness and decrease in aggression." Q.E.D. - though it goes against the grain of the customary advice of sports trainers who advocate abstinence because sex soon before a match drains the athlete of energy. The document spells out the do's and don't's from Tim Noakes, a Cape Town "sports scientist": "Sex is not a problem, but being up till 2 A.M. on the eve of a game, having a few drinks at a bar while trying to pick someone up, almost always is." We've yet to be told which of the sex scientist's avenues the Indians pursued: Unfortunately, they were eliminated before this weekend's semifinals. At least, the captains of two teams who upheld the "fair play" factor - England's Andrew Strauss and New Zealand's Daniel Vettori - have the satisfaction of survival into the last four. "It was a tough decision to make with a semifinal up for grabs," said Strauss after the Kiwi skipper courageously overruled the umpire, who had been technically correct in calling England batsman Paul Collingwood "out" once he strolled prematurely out of his ground. Vettori called on Collingwood to continue his innings. Similarly, in an earlier match, Strauss had called a Sri Lankan player back. "Under the laws it was probably out," said Vettori, "but we have discussed the spirit of the game a lot lately, and that was the basis for the decision." Added Grant Elliott, one of the Kiwi bowlers: "When something like that happens, you know what's right and what's wrong. Whether it was the World Cup final, whatever, I think we would make the same decision." That flies directly in the face of advice from one of the great proponents of the art of football management, Joe Mercer. He once told his fiery Manchester City assistant, Malcolm Allison, "When in doubt, do nowt," which is Yorkshirese for "do nothing." But it does add up to a welcome understanding that's rather rare among modern sportsmen - accepting that the sin of omission is as bad as the sin of commission, and that on the field of play, what's important is not only not to do what's wrong, but also to decide to do what's right.

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